Labor of Love: From Contraction to Connection – My Birth Story
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate”. Ps 127:3-5
The 3-minute wait time felt like an eternity the day I took the pregnancy test. By the grace of God, My pregnancy journey, was a smooth ride that went by extremely quickly with an estimated due date of November 29th. My ultimate desire was for my body to navigate this journey as naturally as God had intended, with minimal interference. At 26 weeks, we hired a doula, Hannah to guide us through this process. Our plan from the outset was for me to labor at home for as long as possible, avoid clear of the hospital's doors too early to avoid unnecessary interventions.
Stage One: Early and Active Labor.
On Tuesday, November 15 around 2:00pm, my contractions began. I started having lower back pain that was radiating to my stomach and wrapping on my back. I was still able to rest and do things around the house. I texted my doula Hannah to inform her, she encouraged me to stay busy and keep going about my day and stay distracted. She also encouraged me to eat something light that had protein in it and to get some rest in between the contractions. My husband Michael and I planned on seeing a movie when the contraction started, we thought it would be a great way to be distracted but that did not happen. So we decided to put up the Christmas tree and decorate it. This was a perfect distraction for me, the discomfort was bearable because it wasn't occurring frequently, so I did my best to ignore it.
At 37 weeks, comfortable sleep was a distant luxury. That night, around 1:20am on November 16th, the discomfort escalated. Unsure whether it was my water breaking or just a momentary confusion with peeing, the intensity grew. You know how in the movies when the woman goes into labor, it's almost always the same steps of event. Her water breaks, a huge gush of it goes down on the floor like a mini waterfall and the next thing everyone is screaming in excitement and nervousness. Next scene maybe she's in the hospital screaming and then boom there’s a baby. Anyway, I thought since this wasn't a mini waterfall gushing down, it couldn't be my water breaking. But in fact it was some of it according to my doula, when I told her later on that day.
Michael put an exercise ball in the shower, I got in and took a long and relaxing shower. Hannah had suggested the exercise ball in there around 34 weeks when showering felt like a chore to me, so the ball was a game changer. This helped me a lot with the discomfort. I was able to go back to sleep after the shower, but some of the contractions would wake me up and I would be able to return to sleep in between them. At this point, Michael began tracking them on his phone, which was about 35 minutes or so apart.
The contractions continued throughout the day. However, I was still able to carry on with my to-do list for the day in between them. I had bible study with my friends that evening on Facetime, and Michael and I hung up empty picture frames on the wall to eventually fill them with photos later on ( We had just moved into this new place weeks prior so we were still decorating).
Around 3:00pm my contractions were about 20 - 30 minutes apart. I was feeling so tired and uncomfortable that I kept going in and out of the shower; this helped me tremendously. We were in constant communication with Hannah, she encouraged fluid as much as I could and also to use the bathroom. That night, Michael was so gracious to paint my toenails. I joked that I didn't want MJ to meet me with crusty nails. I spoke to my sister on the phone and my friend Facetimed me and she joked that MJ would come on Thanksgiving day, the 24th—little did we know it would be so soon.
At around 6:00pm, the contractions were now ranging between 5- 8 minutes apart, lasting 35- 54 seconds. I was feeling so frustrated because all I wanted to do was sleep but I couldn't, by the time I found a comfortable position, I would experience another contraction. Michael ran a bath for me and I soaked in it for a while listening to my labor playlist which consisted mostly of Reggae worship songs. Every time I felt comfortable enough to go back to the bedroom to try to get in bed, the contractions got more intense, and the pain would have me rushing back into the shower for a flow of warm water running on my body, and Michael would apply counter pressure on my lower back. This was helping so much. But I knew I couldn't stay in there for too long, the heat after a while made me feel dizzy.
At around 8:30pm, I started having really painful contractions, nothing like what I had experienced. While I was in the bathtub for I think the 5th time, I had Michael light the candles I loved during most of the pregnancy, but after about 2 minutes, I felt so nauseated and had him put it off and away. I did not want to get a swift of that scent. I knew things were changing up quickly but I wasn't sure I would be meeting my son so soon.
At 9:00pm I was back in the bathroom again but this time I was throwing up everything I had eaten and also having bowel movements. I was in so much pain, I vividly remember screaming so loud to the point I had a headache afterward. This was the first time I was admitting I was in excruciating pain. Before this point, Michael would ask how I was doing, I would say ‘Baby I’m okay just feeling a lot of discomfort. But now, it was no longer discomfort, I said “Baby I am In Pain, this is pain”. The contraction kept getting worse, Hannah asked if she should come over to assist, but Michael was doing such a great job supporting me and applying all the things we had learned from her, so I told her not to come just yet.
Moreover, it was freezing, and the roads were icy. I hesitated to have her drive to my house just for her to wait for hours, especially considering the challenging weather conditions. My reasoning was simple – if I could still engage in conversation, then perhaps MJ wasn't quite ready to make his appearance. I had heard that if contractions are so intense that you can't hold a conversation, then the baby is likely ready to arrive. Judging by my ability to talk, I assumed he wasn't ready yet, at least not that night.
Hannah provided guidance during this critical time. Despite the cold, she sent me different positions to try from milescircuit.com, and we found them helpful. Additionally, she suggested incorporating lunges to aid in opening the mid-pelvis.
As the lights went out and we settled into bed for the night, Michael began praying. Amid his prayers, I suddenly felt like I was kneeling in a puddle of water. I whispered, 'Baby, I think my water just broke.' He didn't hear me, so I repeated myself. He turned on the lights, revealing a sizable wet spot on the bed. Kneeling between the wetness, I noticed my mucus plug had made its way out. 'Eww, what is that?' I exclaimed. Michael promptly helped me off the bed. This happened around 9:45 pm. We called Hannah for her to come over. On her way, she stopped by the store to grab some popsicles, as all I wanted were lemon popsicles. (Things moved along so quickly that I didn't eat them until 1 week postpartum).
Michael assisted me in changing into his sweatpants and a hoodie. We made our way downstairs, a journey that felt never-ending due to the intense contractions. Hannah arrived and urgently conveyed that we needed to head to the hospital immediately. While the car warmed up, Michael called the hospital to brief them on the situation. He requested my midwife's presence and inquired about setting up the pool for me to continue laboring in water. Simultaneously, he attempted to contact my sister to meet us at the hospital.
Our hospital bag had been packed about a week prior and was already in the car, so all that remained was to make it to the car. Each step was agonizing, especially given the freezing temperature outside. Hannah followed us to the hospital, which was a seemingly endless 20-minute drive, exacerbated by the excruciating pain.
We reached the front of the emergency department, where Hannah assisted me into a wheelchair while Michael went to park the car. We went through registration, she got my wallet and handed them my insurance and driver’s license, and she answered all the questions. I remember moaning in pain, feeling incredibly uncomfortable, and questioning the necessity of the extensive inquiries. Upon entering the room, I found myself surrounded by residents, all eager for an opportunity to attend to me. Reflecting on this scene took me back to my nursing school days during clinicals, recalling how my classmates and I were eager to care for the one laboring patient, hoping to witness the delivery of a baby.
They conducted a cervical check, which Hannah explicitly conveyed was against my wishes and also told them I did not want any resident per my birth plan. Unfortunately, being in the ER, residents were the only option, and it was their policy to perform the check. This particular resident was not gentle; he stated I was between 4-5 cm and claimed he could feel the baby's head. Looking back, this didn't make sense at all. Thankfully, this turned out to be the worst part of my stay. In excruciating pain, I repeatedly asked Hannah about Michael, as all I wanted was to hold his hand.
Two nurses wheeled me to the Labor and Delivery unit. We entered a room, and Michael joined us. My midwife arrived and requested to check my cervix again, to which I protested. She assured me she would be gentle, emphasizing the importance of confirming my dilation progress.
Stage Two: Hello Sweet Boy
My midwife confirmed I was 8 cm, not 4 cm. which made more sense and was such a relief. I quickly progressed to 10 cm, and with no time for the pool, I labored on my hands and knees, this was the most comfortable position for me. I began to push with each contraction. My midwife asked if I wanted to feel the baby’s head, I did, and that encouraged me so much knowing that there was progress being made. Michael was on my right side encouraging me with the truth of God’s word and reminding me with every contraction I was getting closer to meeting our son. This was such sweet and encouraging words to hear. As MJ kept making his way down, his shoulders and torso were out and my midwife asked if I would like to catch him. I immediately reached down to hold him while the rest of him made its way out at exactly 12: 42am.
Stage Three: Welcome placenta
Art with my placenta
I turned to lie on my back, and placed him on my chest, and he promptly latched onto the nipple, initiating breastfeeding. My midwife told me I was excessively bleeding and that she was going to administer Pitocin to manage it. This part remains somewhat of a blur; I had to watch footage from that night to recall details about the excessive bleeding. The placenta was delivered at 12:49 am, and we requested a bucket of ice to preserve it for a project we had. We left the cord attached, and at 1:31 am, Michael cut it. We were deeply immersed in love, holding our sweet baby in my arms. We praised the Lord for a safe delivery, we spent a substantial amount of uninterrupted time together.
Hannah left, and we continued with skin-to-skin contact for a little over an hour. I then passed him over to Michael, and they continued with skin-to-skin until about 3:15 am when the nurse came in to weigh and measure him. He weighed 7 lb. 4 oz and measured 20 inches. Curious about the duration of my pushing, I asked the nurse, who mentioned it was about 20 minutes. It felt much longer, considering the hours we had spent there. We were transferred to the recovery room, where we continued to bond and recover. Despite feeling exhausted, I had so much energy just staring at our sweet bundle of joy, MJ
Overall, my birth experience was great, especially considering the numerous horror stories I had heard about hospital births. Our carefully crafted birth plan played a crucial role in achieving the birthing experience we desired. I look forward to sharing the details of my birth plan in another post, God willing.
